Lebanon! We are leaving in two days! (DEEP BREATH, SARAH.) T-shirts, pepto bismol, tennis shoes, and books are part of the piles that are stacked around our house. Last minute details swarm in my head, stinging me while I’m trying to work or go to sleep. Lebanon! Wow – it’s almost here! Every time I talk about the trip, I get a little more excited – it starts to feel a little more real!
I’ve felt a pull towards Lebanon for almost two years, starting when Tim and Sheila Smith started recruiting for the first trip in fall of 2010. I felt compelled to go, but the idea was quieted by the many
‘what ifs’ that pestered me while Myles was in the final year of his PhD program. At times I have let the fear of the unknown direct my path more than I’d like to admit. But the Lord is patient with me. The Lord has been teaching me to slowly unclench my fists of control to make open (though often sweaty) palms. He has been teaching me to slow my frenzied pace and inhale the gifts of grace and beauty that he places in my path each day. I often trample the gifts, not recognizing the Giver.
I pray that I will go to Lebanon with hands and eyes opened wide – ready to receive and to give. I thank God for what I have already received – a deepened friendship with my Calvary family; cooking
lessons in Lebanese cuisine; a chorus of friends and family that have contributed generously to the trip; and Myles – my co-traveler in life. I am praying that my anxiety will fade as my trust in God’s
goodness and grace increases. Join me in Brother Andrew’s prayer, “Here I am Lord. All of me. Do with me as your heart desires.”