Sometimes I have such a hard time seeing past today. This seems to be where I am at as I prepare
to embark for Lebanon this Wednesday. Don’t
get me wrong; I fall somewhere very high on the scale of excited when I think
about going. I am filled with deep
anticipation of all those with whom we will interact and of all that we will
get to see, hear, do, and experience.
Yet, while bags are packed and last minute tasks are almost
done; my thoughts, my body, my spirit, and my anxieties are still very much
caught up in the here and now. In fact,
over the past week I have struggled deeply with the concept of leaving Waco at
all because so many areas of my life are being blown and tossed about right
now. Somehow I feel like if I were just to
stay I would be able to keep the boat anchored still or at least determine
which way it decides to turn.
As I have prayed through this anxiety in leaving, I have
been reminded of how quickly I slip out of a position of trust in my Savior and
into a place where I am trying to dictate what the fulfilling of His plans
should look like. In light of this
reminder, my anxiety about leaving has slowly begun to shift for I have begun
to realize that leaving during this time of shifting might actually be a mixed
blessing. Leaving now forces me out of
the position of controlling to one of trusting.
When you are thousands of miles removed from a situation it is allot
harder to have your hands in the middle of it, so you cannot do much more than
entrust it to God. This position of
trust is exactly where I want to spend all my time for only when I stand in
this place of faith do my plans go from something “seen” to confidence in the “unseen.” Only when I trust does my picture of God grow
beyond this small box that I seem to put Him in.
It is my earnest desire that this attitude that treats God
as the sovereign being that He is, acknowledging His picture is much larger
than ours, will follow with our team to Lebanon. It is so easy, at least for me, to have a
limited picture of what God can and will accomplish or to attempt to “help Him
along” by keeping our ideas of what accomplishment would mean in mind instead
of just letting Him be in control. If
instead, as we journey, we acknowledge God’s invitation to us to be a part of
the work He is already doing both here and in Lebanon who knows what all might
be accomplished beyond us and imagined plans we have made in our months of
preparation.
“Now to him who is able to do far
more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work
within us, to him be glory in the church and in
Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever. Amen.” Ephesians
3:20-21
Kimberly Bobbitt
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